The unforgiven dying

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
What if I slipped on headaches and migraines
And turned my stomach over with vomit
But just enveloped these tiny things in
Little papers of dustless wind

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
What if we went up the stairs to the rooftop
Instead of taking the lift
And my hazed breath wasnt just the lack of it
The spine no longer needed by ragged picks

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
What if the kiss you surrendered became
My cry of help
Walls spoke black instead of sunlight
When it was just a wish unfulfilled
An errand I ran to
In the deepest of the pits

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
What if your repulsion I cooked out of a stomach bug
A body shrivelled, a heart unplugged
Simple fevers, minor concussions
Pulse paused at youngest to faint

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
What if my fear paved routes not a leg astray
Facing an end of an era never knowing
If this legend is designed like one in your head
Would you miss me? Would
The blanket cover both your legs, not one
Eyes open to my face on a screen
Would your hand reach out
Your thumb on my cheek
Your heart with my beat
Dead, yet?

What if I didn’t tell you I was sick?
Would you forgive me?
I wouldn’t.

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